I. Thou shalt not take the name of the Great God Spam in vain.
II. Thou shalt not eat the flesh of the Great God Spam in vain, for to do so is blasphemy.
III. Remember Thursday, the Day of Spam, that thou mightest keep it holy.
IV. Thou shalt not steal but that the Spam tells you to do so.
V. Thou shalt not kill but that to do so would restore the honor of thy faith or thy Great God Spam.
VI. Thou shalt worship no other foods but Spam.
VII. Thou shalt sacrifice Untrue Meats to the Great God Spam that thou mightest remain in Its favor.
VIII. Honor thy father and thy mother, for it is from them that all Spam flows.
IX. Bring not the word of Spam to others, unless they dost ask to recieve it and thou feelest they canst handle it.
X. Thou shalt forever keeps these commandments in thy heart, that when
thou dost die thou might return as the holy flesh of Spam.