Me: Are you two people now? One a good Spam-lover, one an evil Spam-hater?
Person: huh? no!
Me: Oh, well. Then this lovely set of matched luggage and the all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii isn't for you.
Person: wait! wait! two people you say?
Me: Yes, why?
Person: why, yes i am two people! that is, we are..
Me: Uh-huh. Sorry, the trip's already been claimed. There's a can of Spam you can have, though.
Person: woo hoo! is it refundable?
Me: Um... let me check...
Me: For Spam dollars, yeah. And Spam dollars can be redeemed for... uh... Spam.
Me: Foiled again?
Me: I guess you can have Treet if you like.
Me: ::hands you a caseful::
Me: Is that all you can say?