Let's hear it for the Vice-President and President of PCP... they're proving themselves to be funny! But then, you already knew they were funny...

This is Top 5 for Tuesday, September 7, 1999. If you want to join the list (and you should, it's funny), here be their webbysite.

The Top 16 Differences if Nobody had Invented the Wheel

16> One less thing for Al Gore to claim he invented.

15> Amble-by shootings just don't send rival gangs the right message.

14> With cars up on blocks in front of every house on the planet, Jeff Foxworthy languishes in obscurity.

13> Parents around the world rejoice as nothing whatsoever on the bus goes 'round and 'round.

12> While much faster than 30 minutes, catapult system for pizza home delivery is still an inexact science.

11> Leather jackets or not, the Hell's Angels are far less intimidating on donkeys.

10> Abundance of gratuitous TV pogo stick chases by Pamela Anderson.

9> Drag racing, while more literal, is markedly less exciting.

8> 95% of retail space taken by Nike, leaving only 5% for Starbucks.

7> Roulette's not quite as exciting with everyone betting on the corners.

6> Major drop in teen pregnancies, as copulating on the back of a horse is not as much fun as it would seem to be.

5> James Dean's death from running head-first into a tree isn't nearly as romantic when there's no car involved.

4> Millions of slovenly hamsters with unsightly love-handles playing video games all day.


2> Ladies and Gentlemen: His Honor the President... Ted Kennedy!

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference if Nobody had Invented the Wheel...

1> Circusgoers marvel as 50 clowns manage to cram themselves into a small horse.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

Guess who contributed #1? Huh? Huh? Give up? The answer is -- US! Random and Napoleon! Well, technically, it was Random. I added a bit of funny wording, but it doesn't show up in the Top5 mailing. Oh, well. Yay Random!

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