About we who would ask that you find the monkey

NAPOLEON -- the HTML girl. The one who does all the actual work.

It's somewhat of an interesting story how I came to be as  pleasantly wonked as I am now. Would you like to hear it? Sure you would.

'Twas long and long ago. Mid-to-late 1997, to be specific, or at least relatively so. I was in or soon to be in my junior year of high school, at any rate. But anyway. I was accompanying my mother on a trip to the friendly neighborhood Sav-On's, and as we pulled into the parking space and got out of the car, I seemed to notice several people staring at me. "I wonder why they're staring at me," I said, or something along those lines. "It's not like I think I'm Napoleon or anything.*"

Ding! goes the lightbulb over my head. Or maybe it was a flaming duck, I don't know. Odd stuff seems to happen when I'm around. But, whatever source of heat and light erupted in midair over my head that day, it proved to be quite an historic occasion. With that careless thoughtless reference, I suddenly took on dozens, maybe even hundreds of previously unrealized personalities. Chief among these was the great French strategist himself, Napoleon.

So now I am Napoleon. "What's it like being Napoleon?", you might ask, and I'd have to admit, it's not that easy to describe. Being easily amused seems to figure into it somewhere. Likewise a penchant for sporks, a fascination with Spam, and a habit of hurling unsuspecting people through windows. Wizards, if I can find them.

Currently, I 'm a freshman at California State University, Fullerton, with a full four-year scholarship. Sorry, I had to insert a brag in here somewhere. I might grow up to be a teacher in my spare time, when I'm not ruling the world. Hey, it's a tough job, but someone's got to do it. Teaching, I mean. Ruling the world will be easy. So I made a few mistakes, and didn't gain total world domination the first time around. Heck, that's what reincarnation is for: learning from your mistakes. The voices in my head told me so, and they know everything!

And on that note, I'll present my paddedcellmate.

of lizard

RANDOM -- the Idea Girl. She thinks stuff up, I put it into action. She's either brilliant for getting others to do all the work or just plain lazy, I'm not sure which.

Random holds the distinction of being Queen of the Lizards, meaning that she has complete dominion over all lizards and lizardlike creatures. In exchange for the aid of her lizard armies, I've promised to give her several countries when I've taken over the world.

I'm sure I'll stick more stuff here later.

Really, I will.

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*The Shining, by Stephen King: Jack Torrance, father of the protagonist and final victim of the Overlook Hotel, reflects at one point on a play he once wrote about a mildly insane man who was released from an overcrowded mental institution because, I paraphrase since I haven't read the book in a year: "He wasn't dangerously insane. He didn't stab fellow inmates with scissors or think he was Napoleon." Somehow that quantification of madness -- that you're not all that insane as long as you don't think you're a dead short crazy French guy -- intrigued me. Guess that's why Napoleon became me instead of someone else. Just to let you know; now, back to your regularly scheduled babblings! Back ta the link that led ya here