Cara opened the door to her first-period class. She took one look inside and slammed the door shut.
"Ohmagod," she said conversationally. "The sub... is a cat."
She pulled the door open again and slipped into her seat. The cat at the front of the classroom paid her no mind as it walked to the board.
It was in most respects an ordinary-looking cat. It was all black, except for its face and paws. It had silky-looking fur and green eyes. Indeed, in all ways but one it was a completely normal cat.
This cat, however, was six feet tall.
It turned to face the class. "Good morning, students," it said in a low voice. "I am substituting for your regular teacher, Mr. Claremont, today. My name," and it turned to write on the board, "is Ms. Felis-Cattis." Cara observed, with absolutely no reaction at all, that the cat was left-handed ("left-pawed?") and wrote in beautiful old-fashioned script.
As the cat began to take roll, Cara leaned towards the student on her left. "Hey," she whispered. "Hey Lesley, did you see that? The substitute teacher is a cat!"
Lesley stared at her. "What?!"
"No talking, please," the cat called.
Cara tried again with the student on her right. "Rick! The sub is a cat!"
Rick raised an eyebrow. "Whatever, Cara."
She stood up. "Does anyone else notice that our substitute teacher is a six foot tall CAT?!"
Everyone stared at her. The cat put down the pencil it held in its paw and examined the seating chart. "Do you have a reason for shouting out nonsense in the middle of class, Miss... Cara? Or do you regularly do this as a way to relieve stress?"
Several students laughed. Cara ignored them. "Look, cat, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to leave! Cats do not teach school, even if they are six feet tall, which they're not supposed to be anyway!"
The cat laid its ears back. "Young lady, sit down right now or I will report you to the principal!"
"Good! Do it! When I tell him you're a cat he'll kick you out of here!"
It thrashed its tail about in frustration, knocking several books to the floor. No one seemed to notice except Cara. "Go," it ordered her. As she rose and began to walk towards the door, it added, "And don't come back until you're able to act like a normal human being!"
Cara stopped in the doorway. "It's funny you should say that, considering that you are a CAT!" Having said this, she departed.