You find a nickel on the ground. What do you do?

Pick it up and run off to spend it on penny whistles and moon pies.
Pick it up and eat it.
Run. The conspirators probably left it there so you'd stay nice and still while the sniper lined you up in his sights.
Make it your new best friend.
Throw it out a window.

Flowers or angels?

Flowers.
Angels.
Grenades.
Commandos.
Angel commandos toting flower grenades.

Why does the sun shine?

Armor-All.
Pixies.
Evil pixies.
Yes.
I AM SURE IT IS THE ITALIANS' FAULT POKEY!!!!!!!

Gottaquartergottaquartergottaquarter?

EARTHSHAKER!!!!!!!!!
Fnord.
Dance, monkey, and then you may have your quarter!
Please pass the ants.
Leave me alone, I'm broke.

pigs?

kill!
glee
sigh... worf
ding
fnrd

You see a cow standing in a field. What do you do?

Hand it a chainsaw.
Kill, butcher, cook and eat that sucker. Steak, anyone?
Pet it. It's cute!
Strike up a conversation with it.
Throw monkeys at it.

Honestly, why are you wasting your time on this quiz?

It's like Mount Everest, man. It was there.
Bored outta my skull.
Are you kidding? I LOVE webtests!!!
Because its creator is so awesomely cool.
Damned if I know.

Are you gonna eat that?

No, I'm done... be my guest.
Get yer mitts off my food!
No, it's my new pet. Its name is George.
Maybe.
Dude, I think it's moving.

What is the reason for a platypus?

42.
Undead cans of Mountain Dew.
Two windows, because most of us don't have doors.
Maybe.
I'll answer you after I put a sidecar on my sidecar's sidecar's sidecar.

Bite me.

Huh? What did I do?!
Okay! *CHOMP*
Go away.
No, you taste icky.
Fnord.

(Coding tricks stolen from the New Year's resolution test, stolen from the Beatle test, stolen from somebody else, probably stolen from somebody else.)