Scaring the Masses, part 28

Person: hello
Me: Oh, my, it's a yummy apricot.
Person: yes it is! and how are you?
Me: Hungry... for apricots! No, not really.
Person: aww well that's too bad
Person: since you have one right here
Me: Apricots are all fuzzy, though. I don' eat primates.
Person: i'm not fuzzy!
Person: i thought you liked aprictots
Person: apricots
Me: Yes, because they're cute fuzzy primates.
Person: primates??
Me: Yes.
Me: Unlike monkeys, which are small and like a peach.
Person: i'm talking about the fruit
Me: No, monkeys are the fruits.
Person: i don't believe a fruit is a primate
Person: or that a monkey is a fruit
Me: People have been brainwashed into thinking that monkeys are primates and apricots are fruit, when it's the other way around.
Person: ohh i see!
Person: well anyway you like apricots right?
Me: Yup.
Person: me too, they're my favorite primate
Me: Yay!
Person: why are they yours also?
Me: I'm not sure, actually. Perhaps my pet apricot Sigmund influences me, for he is cute and doesn't mind being scanned.
Person: you have a pet apricot?
Me: Yup! He's somewhere, I think. Prolly in a box.
Person: what is his name?
Me: Sigmund!
Person: oh yes i'm sorry
Person: forgive me
Me: That is a picture of him.
Person: ohhhh
Person: let me take a look
Me: Okee.
Person: so anyway doesn't your apricot get lonely all by itself?
Me: Nah. There's other stuff in the box that he's presumably in.
Person: like what?
Person: now you see the kind of apricot i like is edible, it is a fruit you buy in the store
Me: Well, that's a monkey.
Person: yes i know that
Person: but you know what i mean
Me: ::nods::
Person: but either way and apricot is an apricot no matter what name you give it to be classified under
Person: and a monkey is not an apricot
Me: Very very true.
Person: an apricot is something that you eat
Person: that you buy in a grocery store
Person: (wtih all the other monkeys)
Person: primates that is
Me: ::eats a monkey::
Person: so do u like apricots?
Person: the kind that i like
Me: Nah, not really. There was a tree of them at my old house and I got traumatized from walking through rotting fallen ones so much.
Person: oh i see, i probably wouldn't like them either if that happened to me
Person: how old are you may i ask>?
Me: Older than I look and younger than I feel, literally. Which now translates to 19.
Person: hmm and so weird for a 19 year old
Person: there's help for you yet
Me: Yay!
Person: i'm 18
Me: No, no help!
Me: Laaaaaaaaag...
Person: well maybe someday you'll want to take advantage of the many services offered nowadays
Person: ya know?
Me: Nah. Normality is boring, weirdness is fun, please pass the flesheating weasels.
Person: what's that??
Person: yes weirdness is fun
Person: flesheating weasels?
Me: Yes.
Person: sooo umm why would u want a flesheating weasel
Me: I'm not sure, actually. But hey, it worked for Weird Al.
Person: i'm not familiar with weird al
Person: all i know is he makes funny songs
Me: I got the latest CD for my birthday and now I'm hooked.
Me: And he's playing in my city today!
Person: are you doing to see him?
Person: i mean going
Me: If I can find wheels, yeah.
Person: what is your city?
Me: I don't drive, neither does my friend who's also going. <g>
Me: Brea, CA.
Person: and why don't you drive?????
Me: Don't ask me!
Person: driving is a good thing
Person: yes i am asking you
Person: so what's the answer
Me: I think we're too poor to afford the additional insurance.
Person: well do you have a license at least?
Me: Nope. I have nothing.
Person: oh well maybe you should think about it
Person: do u happen to have a picture of yourself?
Me: Yup, somewhere or other.
Person: may i see it?
Me: Digging it up.
Person: will you be able to show it to me on the computer?
Me: Yup.
Me: I just don't remember the url fer sure.
Person: oh well i have one too
Me: -- wherein I use my powers to summon ball lightning in my hands. ;)
Person: hmm ok let me take a look
Person: that'snot the right sight
Me: Eh?
Person: that's not the right url
Me: It isn't?
Me: It soitenly works for me.
Person: t doesn't for me!
Person: well it doesn't matter anyway
Me: Okee.
Person: so you like being weird?
Me: Of course.
Person: hmm well i have to go now maybe i'll talk to u again another time
Person: goodbye
Me: ::waves::

This piece of web madness created, implemented and maintained by Napoleon.
I like getting mail.  Hint, hint.