Me: ::eats you:: Person: no Me: No? Person: i dont taste good Me: How would you know that? Person: hmm.. ::ponders:: Person: i dunno Me: Then I should be allowed to find out on my own whether you taste
good or not! Person: umm ok Me: ::eats you:: Me: Hmm... tastes like mutant eggplants. Person: do i taste good? Me: Yup! Person: umm is that good I never tried that Me: Well, how can one not love something that says 'Blerg' all the
time? Person: hmm.. talking mutant eggplants Me: Yup! Me: They say 'blerg. Eat kitty.' And that's funny. Person: no dont eat kitty Me: Give me one good reason. Person: i like kitties Me: I like kitties too... with gravy. Mmm... Person: yuck dont kitties make you cough up furballs? Me: True. But if I cough up a couple more, I'll have enough to knit
myself a sweater! Person: eew! Me: Aw, you say that like you've never knit yourself a sweater out
of... cat hair that you've... Me: Actually, you're right. Eew. Person: yes especially stuff youve coughed up Me: I think I won't be eating any kitties for the next few days.
<g> Me: Windows are still good, though! Person: well then I defenestrate you Me: Oooh... and on the first try, toooooooooo::BOOOM:: Person: booom? Me: There was a stray nuclear device outside the window, apparently.
Person: I'm sure that hurt Me: Nah, feels nice. Care to try it? I have extra nukes! Person: umm.. well thats one way to feel good Person: i think Me: Yeth, it is. Me: Drinking arsenic-laced Coca-Cola is also effective. Person: hmm i prefer pepsi Me: It doesn't mask the bitter taste of the arsenic as well. Person: hmm what about in tea? Me: Hey, now there's something I haven't tried yet! You can test it
and tell me how it works if you like. Person: hmm not tonight Person: the caffiene might keep me up Me: Yah, that would be an ungood thing at this late hour. Person: yes quite Me: Just like rabid wombat attacks. Person: rabid wombats? well that would be a new experience for me
Me: Make sure to stock up on wombat repellent! You never know when
they'll infest your neighborhood, and they're heck to get rid of! Person: hmm.. my kitty will defend me Me: What if the wombats are aided by a kitty-eating eggplant? Person: then I'll tell [Xidus] to defend me Me: ::snickers at the idea of [Xidus] defending against rabid wombats::
Person: he can defenestrate them Me: I'd think he'd be more likely to take one look at the army of
rabid creatures coming towards him, and hide under his bed. :P Person: hee hee Me: Little does he know that wombats congregate under beds... Person: umm.. i'm going to check under my bed before I go to sleep
tonight Me: That would be a very very good idea. Me: Be sure to have a long sharp stick with you. Person: sharp? can it be shiny too Me: Oh, yes. The shinier the better! Person: I like sharp shiny objects Me: What's really neet is when they talk when you pull the string!
Person: hmm.. i dont know what your talking aboot Me: Don't shiny sharp things talk to you? Person: not recently, they've been rather silent except at night when
they think im asleep I can hear them whispering Person: planning my death Me: I find that dousing them in liquid Spam is the best way to make
them stop plotting evil things. Person: but wont they rebel against the spam? Me: You'd think so, but they spend all their time happily eating it
instead. Person: hmm and that works? Me: Well, it's always worked for me. Your mileage may vary. Person: hmm.. thats not very consoling Me: I tell it like it is. Person: well I might give them treet instead Me: Whatever you do, don't give them Treet! For some reason it creates
a catastrophic reaction. Person: really? Me: Yes. I know from experience. It's not pleasant. Person: I see Me: ::shudders at the memory:: Person: Im sorry for bring up the sensitive subject of the treet
catastrophie Me: That's all right. You didn't mean to. Me: ...Bob. Person: hee hee yove been discussing my conversation with [Xidus]
havent you Me: Why... whatever gives you that idea? Person: umm.. well hmm I dunno mayby you calling me bob gave me that
very obscure idea Me: I don't know what you mean... eheh... want a poptart? Person: no thanks bart Me: ::eats it herself, then explodes, because there was plastique
in the poptart:: Person: plastique ? pleese explain Me: Explosive squishy stuff. Person: really never heard of it Me: When one watches too much TV and reads too much Stephen King,
they pick this stuff up. <g> Person: to much tv? Me: I don't watch so much anymore, but at one time it was pretty bad.
Person: hmm Person: ok Me: Care for a spork? Person: ork Person: bork Me: Pork! Me: ::turns into Merv:: Person: eww meat Me: Pigs. Person: merv? explain Me: Ask [Xidus] to explain. Person: ok i did Person: he's ignoring me Me: He saw it. Person: he said you just ate him ! spit him up so he can explain merv
Me: If he doesn't do it now, I'll have to defenestrate him. Person: he hasnt yet Me: fast Person: what? Me: merv Me: pigs Me: ::shakes head:: Sorry 'bout that. Person: mmk he explained it now Me: Yah, he showed me the explanation. Person: umm is [Xidus] calling me velcro a compliment or insult? Me: Depends on what you said to him just before he said that to you.
Person: I just thanked him for explaing merv Me: Fun. Me: Merv is my hero. Person: spider is our hero Me: Step on spider! Person: hee hee Me: I promise not to kill you. Or at least not to hurt you too badly
when I do kill you. Person: ::thinks of song and forget the other words:: Me: Spider! He is our hero. Spider! Get rid of Spider! Step on Spider!
Spider! We love you spider. Ooooh. I promise not to kill you. And then horns
and junk, and then... I forget. Person: coodie coo coocoodo Me: Uh? Person: its how the song starts Me: Oh, yeah. Duh. Person: hee hee Me: Memory good have I not. Person: yoda! yeah! Me: Or just a strange megalomaniac misplacing words. Person: oh ok it could be that too Me: Or pixies. Can't forget pixies. Person: where did you come up with the screen name napoleon? Me: I am Napoleon. Person: umm ok and Im england Me: No, really. I'm the reincarnation of Napoleon. Person: okeeday ::backs up slowly:: Person: ::runs:: Me: Come back! I just want to be your friiiiiend! Person: ok Im back I just thought it might be from the tmbg song james
k polk! Me: No, I am not of the stump. Stumps are pretty, though. Person: yes they are Person: ::starts singing youth culture killed my dog:: Me: Have I created a monster by indirectly introducing you to They?
Person: hmm.. define monster Me: Scary creature that runs around eating people for no reason and
plays backgammon and cheats. Person: im sure [Xidus] thinks of me in that way Me: ::snickers:: Me: You probably don't eat people too often. Person: but I dont know how to play back gammon Person: oh I like eating people Me: With ketchup? Person: but idont cheat Person: no I prefer them plain Me: Do not meddle in the affairs of megalomaniacs, for you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup. Person: sowwy Me: No, I'm just saying in general. Person: oh not you personally Person: ? Me: It is a saying people should remember. Me: And I should now be going to bed. Person: oh like bouncy ball is the source of all goodness and light
Me: Yup! Person: why bed? Person: yuck sleep Me: Have to be up in about seven hours. Person: oh well
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I like getting mail. Hint, hint.
